A quick story for you today; When I was a kid, I played tennis and recently my husband Nath and I played a few games together.
We oscillated between playing for points and also just having a bit of a hit and a laugh.
When we left the court, I was reflecting on how different our styles and approaches were when we were playing for points v’s playing for fun.
When we were playing for points, I could make Nath work - Sending him running from one side of the court to the other, forcing him onto his bad side and sending balls at him with speed. I was celebrating when I won and Nath wasn’t able to get the ball back over the net, or he did but it landed out of bounds.
It was almost the exact opposite to when we were playing for fun - That looked more like gentle and considered ball placement, slower with more cheerleading for each other and then disappointment if one of us wasn’t able to return the other's shot. If one of us lost, we both did. We even managed to get a good streak of over 50 balls returned to one another in a row! Or if you are a tennis fan - a solid rally!
Communication within our relationship can be just like that - sending and receiving communication back and forth - sometimes to win and sometimes for fun.
When Nath and I were playing as if we were on the same team, we worked so incredibly well together to keep the rally or “conversation” going. We weren’t intentionally sending over curve balls or low blows, we collaborated for a shared great result. But sometimes, IRL we fall into the “playing to win” type conversation. And it becomes hard work for both of us, it fractures our relationship and is a whole lot less fun.
Maybe you can relate?
Everyone says the key to a great relationship is communication and that sounds simple doesn’t it? But sometimes we forget that we are on the same team and we are playing for fun, not to win.
In tennis, if you want to improve your skills, you get some coaching. It’s no different for improving any relationship skill - including communication.
If this is something you’d like to work on and get even better at, I’d like to invite you and your person to join Nath & I and a our special guest expert Brian Fretwell to our upcoming workshop : How to have Better Conversations by asking Better Questions
Tickets are just $27 (Cheaper than your last UberEats order) and the workshop also comes with some cool bonuses
Get the details + tickets here