Fuel Up
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Sammi Jaeger

2 Lessons from an ethically non-monogamous relationship - Sammi Jaeger

romantic relationship May 20, 2022

Have you ever cheated on a partner? Someone you were in a romantic relationship with?

 

I have.

 

Or maybe I have? That kinda depends on your definition of cheating.

 

And you and I likely have different ideas about what is and isn't considered cheating. 

 

This week on The Date Forever Podcast, we chatted with Shane. He is a coach who specialises in working with clients who are navigating ADHD. Ohh and he is in an ethically non-monogamous relationship. 

 

Haven’t heard that term before? 

 

ENM for those in the know, describes the practice of having more than one sexual partner. The “ethical” part differentiates it from cheating. It’s also sometimes called consensual non-monogamy or more plainly, an open relationship.

Shane and his wife Darcy opened up their relationship a few years after they were married. In the episode, he shared some of his story and lessons with us.

 

There are 2 main...

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Your relationship with yourself - Sammi Jaeger

self May 20, 2022

 How has your last month or so been? 

Mine has been both beautiful and clunky with so many short weeks all in a row - Easter, Anzac Day and then a whole week off for my first visit to Byron Bay to sharpen up some surf skills - it was the best!

Fuel Co. is built on the idea that we each have 8 different Fuel tanks to take care of and at any one point in time those tanks range somewhere between empty and full.

 Fuel is anything that inflames or sustains passion.


The 8 Fuel Tanks

  • Self

  • Romantic Relationship

  • Relationships & Network

  • Humming Household

  • Career & Business

  • Wealth & Lifestyle

  • The World

  • The Future

The idea isn’t to have them all full, all of the time but more a way to quickly identify what areas of life are rockin’ and what might need a bit of lovin’.

When any one tank runs too low for too long, it eventually hits empty and puts pressure on the other tanks. And when you have too many tanks, too low,...

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What tennis taught me about communication - Sammi Jaeger

romantic relationship Apr 14, 2022

 

 A quick story for you today; When I was a kid, I played tennis and recently my husband Nath and I played a few games together.

We oscillated between playing for points and also just having a bit of a hit and a laugh.

When we left the court, I was reflecting on how different our styles and approaches were when we were playing for points v’s playing for fun.

When we were playing for points, I could make Nath work - Sending him running from one side of the court to the other, forcing him onto his bad side and sending balls at him with speed. I was celebrating when I won and Nath wasn’t able to get the ball back over the net, or he did but it landed out of bounds.

 It was almost the exact opposite to when we were playing for fun - That looked more like gentle and considered ball placement, slower with more cheerleading for each other and then disappointment if one of us wasn’t able to return the other's shot. If one of us lost, we both did. We even...

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Holding onto your O.A.R in your relationship - Sammi Jaeger

romantic relationship Apr 01, 2022

This week someone said something to me that was a blatant excuse for why they had decided they couldn’t do something.

From their point of view, perhaps they felt it was a legitimate reason, but to me it absolutely sounded like an excuse.

It was something that made me roll my eyes. Yep, I was on my judgey high horse, after all I am also an imperfect human. What they said shifted the blame and accountability from them to someone else. It was someone else's fault that they couldn’t do what they wanted.

In this instance they had shifted blame to their kids.

You’ve probably heard or maybe even said something like that before, something that sounded like:

I’m too old….
I’m too young….
I’ll do it when….
I don’t have time….
It’s just the way I am….
Everybody does that….
It’s not hurting anyone….
Nobody believes that….
I would do that if….

Again, I am human, so I know I have.

The...

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Why I am shooting for Better not Perfect - Sammi Jaeger

Have you ever been told this by a parent, boss, coach, peer or friend…?

 
"If you're going to do it, do it right, or don't bother doing it at all"

 Or maybe this version 

 “If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right”

 
I’ve heard this more times than I can count and it’s held me back from doing things or doing them but only after I’ve double, triple and quadruple checked it. 

 
But this week, I had an insight and I’ve decided I think that's truly shit advice.

💩💩💩💩💩

 
Being perfect is an illusion -- it's not real.

 
I believe Better Relationships = Better World


And part of that, is believing that both of those things can always be better, and therefore never perfect

 
This week I was out for a guided run with headphones and a coach in my ears encouraging me through my paces and he said If you can’t do the run you want,...

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10 Big Relationship Lessons from 100 episodes of Date Forever - Sammi Jaeger

This week Nath and I smashed a milestone - we dropped episode 100 of The Date Forever Podcast. 

For this special episode, we went back through the archives and pulled out the 10 biggest relationship lessons from those 100 episodes. 

You can check out the full episode here but I wanted to share the 10 Big Relationship Lessons from 100 episodes of Date Forever with Sammi & Nathan Jaeger right here.

So here we go:

1. It’s important to have shared goals

2. You need 3 different lives - My Life, Their Life, Our Life

3. We need to understand and speak the 5 Love Languages

4. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship that you have

5. Date Nights and quality time together are oxygen to a relationship

6. Keep your Fuel Tanks topped up

7. Not all relationships are the same

8. Your attitude and mindset matters

9. Turbulence happens, get help from...

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How we organise date nights using our 2 x 2 x 2 method - Sammi Jaeger

romantic relationship Mar 29, 2022

Brag alert!

Last night my husband Nath and I were offered a free night at a boujee hotel by someone whose plans had changed. If we didn’t snap it up, that lush bed was going to be paid for but empty.

It was late afternoon and it needed some jiggling of logistics, but we jumped at the spontaneous chance to have a night away. Yesterday was a big day for both of us, so it felt serendipitous. We popped on our fluffy robes, ordered room service, stretched out on a big bed and enjoyed a very lazy evening together.

 

As you may have heard us talk about on The Date Forever Podcast, we have a framework for how we do date nights. We call it our 2x2x2

 

Of all places, we first heard about this concept on a random Reddit thread and now we've made it our own.

 

Twice a month - date night

Nath organises, plans and executes on a date night in the first half of the month and I organise, plan and execute a date night in the second half of the month. We each get a...

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Solo Dates: Get to know yourself better - Sammi Jaeger

self Feb 18, 2022

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?

Historically, I’ve thought of myself as an extrovert, someone who gets recharged from being around other people. But over the past few years I’ve been actively practising the art of taking myself on dates to enjoy my own company. And although I still love people, I am definitely deriving more and more pleasure from my alone time.

It’s part of why we called our podcast “Date Forever”

Because I want to date myself and my husband Nathan….. forever. 

My hope is that you also want to actively date yourself and your chosen person…….forever.

 

Earlier in the year I was chatting with some girlfriends about their goals for 2022 and one of them shared that she had set a goal to take herself on at least 12 solo dates this year. One a month, entirely alone, doing things she loves.

Art galleries, cake decorating class, life drawing, speciality cafes, bush...

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Guess who's investing in themselves this year? - Sammi Jaeger

Have you started any new hobbies lately? Or have you had an inkling of something you’d like to learn “one day”? It can be so tricky to master new skills as an adult.

I’ve just finished my 5th surfing lesson in as many weeks and although I can get up and surf for at least a few seconds on a good wave…on a beginners foam board, I am a long way off of amateur surf mastery. But I am having so much fun and can see myself getting a little better each week.

To be a really great surfer there are some skills I am going to need to master - balance, a good paddling technique, understanding the ocean, flexibility to get my legs up and underneath me as quickly as possible, strength and a tonne of both mental and physical endurance. 


As much as I’d like to wake up one day and be an awesome surfer without “putting in the work”, I know I need to invest some time, money and energy to develop the skills required so that I can confidently surf Bondi...

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Who's organising Date Night this week? - Sammi Jaeger

Have you ever had one of your strengths fail you?

I am what some people would call highly organised - just don’t look at my many email inboxes. I like a system and get frustrated when balls get dropped, especially if they are little things that could have been prevented with a calendar reminder, direct debit or checklist.

My preference is to be proactive with a lot of the things in my life and organisation comes quite easily to me. It’s not something I have to work too hard at and it’s a strength I’m proud of.

In my marriage this strength found me organising all of our dates and activities until one day I just spat the dummy with Nath and pointed out it had been a very long time since he had organised a date for us.

So just like a lotta things, there are two sides to every coin and my strength of organisation wasn’t leaving Nath much runway to take the reins.

We chatted it through and realised we needed a better system, a structure that would allow us to...

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